"McMike" (mcmike)
11/06/2013 at 10:04 • Filed to: LOL cars, DS 911, Bullshit
5
95|
"McMike" (mcmike)
11/06/2013 at 10:04 • Filed to: LOL cars, DS 911, Bullshit | 5
| 95 |
Because it's not real, yo. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
When I first saw these photos on another site this morning, I was curious what engine they used. did the put the Citroen engine in the trunk of the Porsche, or did they put the 911 engine in the trunk of the DS? What trunk got the junk????
Then I read this - and none of it made sense. It was either 1) the most confusing ESL mashup ever, or 2) complete bullshit.
Led by expert stewart johnson, a former engineer from inter box
mechanics, the german-french hybrid is fitted with a turbocharged 260
horsepower engine in the rear bonnet of the 1955 DS.
under the hood, the original air cooling system is replaced with a forced water cooling pipeline
. an enlarged set of tires and rigid chassis were incorporated to provide the 911 DS with exceptional handling and stability.
With the technical challenges beyond the reach of a typical automotive
enthusiast, the franken-car required a series of extreme modifications
to put it on the road. the engine bay had to be configured so the 3000
cc power-plant could be properly fitted.
'
we totally forgot that to
fit a porsche 911 engine into the rear bonnet of a citroen DS is as
easy as squeezing a pumpkin into a pea pod,
'
explains brandpower. '
if you shift the engine 90° horizontally, and slide the backseat 10 inches forward, you get enough room
,
adds johnson.
'you want a lower center of gravity on a car that's going to be longer and higher than a regular 911.'
OK, got it... Porsche engine.... In the back... It's a 3.0l, so that means it's a air-cooled 911 engine from 77-83* If so, what the hell are "forced water cooling pipelines," and what does the air cooled engine need them for?
*I suppose it could be a 3.0 4 cyl from a 944/968, but that would require some more engineering with the donor car's transaxle, or perhaps a transmission swap to get it to work. Then again, this 90 degree thing makes everything an impossible challenge, as the transaxle's output flanges aren't even facing the wheels anymore.
Also, if the 911 motor is in the back (all 90 degrees and peapod sideways like the text above hinted at), then that means the fuel tank must be in the front with no fuel filler on either front fender. Where the gas go?
With the lack of interior, engine, or other project photos, I was starting to become leery on how this project came together. Then came the GIS.
C'mon guys.... If you're trying to pull one over on everyone, at least don't use photos you found on the internet.
Here is a photo (left) they supplied that is captioned, "the 911, cut and stripped off everything, waiting for assembly" along with the photo (right) of the source image lifted from !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .
Ah yes, the design process. The photo (left) they supplied that is captioned,
"Jim Lurpak, brandpower concept designer sketching a first draft for the 911 DS,"
along with the source image (right) lifted from
!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
More design. (source image found on !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! )
Here's more of the build. The image on the left is captioned with "Stewart Johnson, checking the overmatching of the welded parts. This is the only picture where we caught him smiling." Source image (right) belongs to !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
Here's the motherload - the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! for the final renders. Plenty of angles of our little 1970 2.2 l orange 911. I bet that front view took them ten whole minutes.
Unfortunately, my comment on their site is awaiting moderation.
My problem with this, is the fact that they are trying to convince people that they actually made it when it's just an design project. Don't get me wrong, I like design projects. I also like build threads and wacky engineering, I was hoping it was both.
I have seen this thing on several different sites already today, and people are discussing it like it's an actual completed project. Many are dismissing it as a Photoshop, which is refreshing, since Brandpower's intention was otherwise.
I'm annoyed because it's a "what-if" project. Just call it a "what-if" project, don't claim it's something it's not - especially if you screw up the details so bad.
/rantover
Aside from the BS, and the dissimilar B-pillars, the photoshop ain't bad. It's good enough to get passed around social media all day.
One more, because GIF.
Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 10:22 |
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Oh, so this wasn't just a 'shop?
Holy moses, I've never wanted a car this much before in my life.
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McMike
> Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
11/06/2013 at 10:24 |
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I'm still not convinced that it's not.
No interior pics, no engine pics, no other build pics. Add that to the really shitty description, and something starts to stink.
Edit - I call bullshit
http://www.irtspeed.com/feature_car
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Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 10:32 |
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I'm with you.
Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 10:35 |
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'if you shift the engine 90° horizontally, and slide the backseat 10 inches forward, you get enough room'
Yeah the DS is no limousine. 10 fewer inches of rear interior space would mean the back seat is just a package shelf
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McMike
> Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
11/06/2013 at 10:36 |
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Here's the two photos.
TheJWT
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 10:45 |
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Look at the B pillars on either side, they're completely different. If someone were to actually do this it would be awesome though.
davedave1111
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 10:46 |
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It's definitely a hoax, or a joke, or whatever you call it. I suspect the perpetrators would like to call it art, but that might be a bit of a stretch.
http://www.brandpowder.com/911-ds-the-per…
I get the impression that it's intended to initially look real, but by the bottom of the page it's obvious that they're not being serious anymore. They claim this is a photo of when the car was displayed to Merkel and Hollande:
The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 10:46 |
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1970s Panamera?
Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 11:33 |
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Something something Burnt Orange Porsches something something death to evildoers.
505Turbeaux
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 13:49 |
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dat horrid drop shadow
Jason Torchinsky
> 505Turbeaux
11/06/2013 at 15:14 |
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The bigger question is why did they have to Photoshop this picture at all? It was too hard to stage a guy drawing at a desk?
Gary Yogurt
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:16 |
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Smudged to "perfection."
To obtain a dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm.
douging
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:16 |
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A Tatra and 911 hybrid would have been better. Given their respective creator's contentious history.
Also, chill the fack out and have a laugh or two.
FriscoFairlane
> Jason Torchinsky
11/06/2013 at 15:18 |
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Well, first you would have to get models of both a DS and a 911. That would involve, like, going on eBay. Filthy stinking liars ain't got time for that.
bwwooster
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:18 |
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Ummm... the front of a 911 and the back of a DS—
— does that mean it's no-wheel drive?
Wildstar
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:19 |
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I actually thought it was a plastic model. Never thought it was real running automobile, but I did think it was more real than it turns out to be.
Baskingshark
> The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123
11/06/2013 at 15:19 |
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That's what I thought ha ha
Vie Ventar
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:19 |
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People seriously thought this was real?
Seriously?
Those photoshops are so bad I don't believe any of you, and thus assume this is all part of some elaborate ruse.
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bwwooster
> The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123
11/06/2013 at 15:20 |
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Panamera's hot sister?
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505Turbeaux
> Jason Torchinsky
11/06/2013 at 15:20 |
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very, very good point. I could set that up in my office in something like 5 minutes. Probably took 15 to do the photochop
mobedal
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:20 |
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when i saw the first picture of the 911DS my first thought was "nice photoshop". I didn´t even think of the opportunity that it could be really built.
The dimension don´t fit at all, the 911 front would be much smaller in relation to the DS-body, i guess.
eldo500
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:25 |
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Jim Lurpak's either got a giant head, or baby hands.
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505Turbeaux
> Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
11/06/2013 at 15:25 |
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I could have ripped any one of those renders apart. Good job, but nothing is perfect
dogisbadob
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:25 |
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A DS GT3RS would be kind of awesome though
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McMike
> Jason Torchinsky
11/06/2013 at 15:26 |
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I was wondering how they failed so horribly at the desk drop shadow, if they did such a good job with the final shadowing.
Then I found the source images for that.
That front view must have taken them all of 10 minutes.
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Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
> 505Turbeaux
11/06/2013 at 15:27 |
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Yeah, the shadows over the minilites are a dead giveway, as are the reflection lines in the body panels.
MIATAAAA
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:27 |
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Wait. There are people who thought this was an actual car the exists in reality?
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McMike
> eldo500
11/06/2013 at 15:28 |
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Neither. He suffers from TMP (too many pixels)
Stephen
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:29 |
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Clearly a 'shop job:
1. the reflections in the paint are all whack, plus you can see hard lines where they "copy-and-pasted" parts of the body to create the Citroen rear end
2. look at the side-by-side picture. the B-pillar on the driver's side does not change in either picture, yet you can clearly see it gets thicker and moves forward on the passenger side
3. the exhaust direction is inconsistent between the rear 3/4 shot and the rear shot.
4. the passenger seat gets taller and grayer
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Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:31 |
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Even if it's a shop,
... It's oddly well done.
I still wouldn't buy one even if it exists on the premise that French metal is thinner than ze Germans. Herbie, anyone?
K-Roll-PorscheTamer
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:32 |
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Looks like a joint Porsche/Citroen '60s Panamera Concept. Either way, it looks horrid.
Beeblebrox237
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:32 |
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I don't see how this is that believeable. The designer photo is pretty obviously photoshopped, as is the rear 3/4.
FailWheelDrive
> Vie Ventar
11/06/2013 at 15:34 |
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I knew this was fake as soon as I saw the photos. These are mediocre photoshops at best, nowhere near passable for an actual photo of an actual car.
ament001
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:34 |
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Wasn't this exact car used on a jalopnik headline image once?
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CLAG
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:35 |
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Blaaah. Even it if was real, blaaah. Two cool cars together does not always equal one hot one. I think the energy spent on this restomod Citroen is way cooler anyway....
lonestranger
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:37 |
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I'm a little late to the party, but was this really assumed to be real? It's made by a graphic design/advertising studio . They work with illustrations and photos, not metal and glass. And they're far from the first agency to troll this way in order to get exposure, and they won't be the last. People are gullible, I guess.
zacarious
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:40 |
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Someone already did this for real, sort of. Preface, this is not a photoshop. Troutman-Barnes built a 911 sedan out of two wrecked '67 911 back in the day. The look was similar to the DS-911 and IMHO way nicer than the Panamera. Enjoy.
Der Sportwagoner
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:42 |
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It's a 'shop. It's awesome, but it's a 'shop nonetheless.
IDriveASaabAndNobodyIsToBlame
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:43 |
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Ehemm. Looking at the last three pics and the seats in the car on those pictures, there is something weird about them. They change too much when the angle is different.
CalzoneGolem
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:43 |
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A 911 front and back .... then they put the engine in the rear? WTF? This is nutso!
manifold engines
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:44 |
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I like the original better...
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McMike
> zacarious
11/06/2013 at 15:45 |
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I remember that. Pretty cool.
Now imagine how cool it would be if it had forced water cooling pipelines ......
n1zm0
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:52 |
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The 'seats' in the rear aren't even the same style as the initial front Porsche picture ffs! C'mon Shelly!
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appliance5000
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:55 |
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Hopefully a perfectly good DS didn't have to die for this.
Mikeado
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 15:58 |
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I had no idea people actually thought this was a real car. I'd always assumed it was a 'shop.
FlyLikeSymptoms
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 16:10 |
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It's a fairly flawless PS except for this, the lack of shadow on the rim.
HarryMosher
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 16:24 |
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I also think these are watermarks from a stock pictures website or just a news website or whatever. I tried changing the contrast, but it makes it even harder to see. It looks like letters though (I think I can read "db" somewhere)
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HarryMosher
> HarryMosher
11/06/2013 at 16:26 |
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Nevermind on that stock photo, I dont see those watermarks on the other website actually (but still, the others pictures are good evidence)
evoCS
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 16:26 |
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I'll freely admit to be taken by this. Because it would be fucking awesome.
Prophet of hoon
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 16:27 |
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Au mon Dieu!
If the murder of an arch duke could start a world-war; I can only imagine what horrors and atrocities this would cause between Germany and France.
Stef Schrader
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 16:41 |
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It's BEAUTIFUL. Fake, but BEAUTIFUL.
However, watercooling? YOU'VE RUINED IT.
The fake it. Whatever. It's ruined.
Mojonaut
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 16:50 |
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Jim Lurpak? Really?
79MZsidecar
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 16:54 |
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This is also an incredibly stupid Idea. Way to destroy everything that's special about both cars.
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OldMarriedDull
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 17:06 |
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"dissimilar B-pillars" — C'mon, that's like when a master carpet maker intentionally adds imperfections into his work. Only He is perfect.
sfmikee
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 17:08 |
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Some pretty bad PS skills on display here. Hardly photo-realistic.
Autolegend86
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 17:13 |
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I was under the impression anyone could easily see this is a photoshop.
Catapult the Shih-Tzu
> sfmikee
11/06/2013 at 17:22 |
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....And what is the arch that can be seen in the back window? There isn't a pillar on the other side that would be visible and it isn't a shadow or light reflection. Hmmm.
Mechafishy
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 17:24 |
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Ok its not real. fair enough. but we are not following the correct jalop train of thought here.
we should not be commenting on how angry we are that they tried to trick us into believing it is real.
we should be asking, why aren't we making this a reality?
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Thomasaurus
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 17:33 |
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When I saw these photos, I didn't even think it was real. I just figured they were diecast models photoshopped together. The DS especially gives off that scale model feel...everything just a little too chunky.
Jartosz
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 17:43 |
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One is a gorgeous classic car, the other is not.
Sure, one can speak of legacy and history of design, but I feel that Porsche 911 is the most boring platform in the world, even if it s a super fast, great performing vehicle. I just honestly cannot get excited when seeing a Porsche, unlike the reaction I have when seeing a Ferrari. I'm more excited to see a Bentley or a Rolls Royce.
Although, to be fair, I'd rather take a Porsche than a Lamborghini (never been a fan).
PurpleGryphon
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 17:46 |
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I thought this was so obviously a mediocre photoshop job. Really surprised anyone got taken by it.
NoahthePorscheGuy
> Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
11/06/2013 at 17:47 |
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Yeah I figured it was just a joke photoshop...
foolio
> eldo500
11/06/2013 at 18:19 |
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Seriously. His head looks gigantic in that photo.
Reborn Pyrrhic
> manifold engines
11/06/2013 at 18:24 |
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Only this one is real.
abgwin
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 18:46 |
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I was just curious about the hydropneumatics and how they were adapted to the 911 front end.
Because without them, why bother?
Jonee
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 18:57 |
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I don't know why you'd ruin a perfectly wonderful DS like that, anyway. But, it is an intriguing color for one. I wouldn't mind seeing an orange Citroen in person.
Bandit
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 19:00 |
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Wow... that's shameful.
James Schollum
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 20:01 |
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Dsscats
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 20:47 |
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You know why? Because DUUUUUHHHHHH!
solracer
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 21:01 |
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Not every crazy mashup you see on the Internet is a photoshop though. This really is a Jaguar V-12 squeezed seemlessly into the trunk of a Corvair.
http://www.corvaircorsa.com/V-12-01.html
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Jonee
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 21:28 |
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I want to see the front of a DS on a 911 now. It'll be an abomination, but I'm curious.
Loping Camshaft
> McMike
11/06/2013 at 23:43 |
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Dad?
SP23
> zacarious
11/07/2013 at 00:02 |
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That's a thing of beauty right there.
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SP23
> McMike
11/07/2013 at 00:16 |
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I went on the Internet today and found this.
Also, the Porsche 989 would've made a better Panamera.
Volksandmopar
> McMike
11/07/2013 at 00:40 |
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I would buy this as a model, but I don't think I'd want a real one. Its definitely a cool idea though.
Wolfy oo()()oo
> McMike
11/07/2013 at 00:41 |
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The perpetrator's definitely lurking on this website!
danardif1
> Jonee
11/07/2013 at 00:44 |
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A Rauh-Welt 911? So the rear track is twice the width of the Citroen front? That'd be brilliant!
Like some kind of bastard DeltaWing...
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nauyop
> McMike
11/07/2013 at 00:56 |
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That head actually looks weird.
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nauyop
> FriscoFairlane
11/07/2013 at 00:58 |
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Well they could have set their own scene up without the die cast models and then Photoshop them into it later.
SteyrTMP
> McMike
11/07/2013 at 02:07 |
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Eww. Just plain eww. WTF is people''s obsession with the Citroen DS? It's not a beautiful car, although people try to claim it is. Hell, it's not even "meh". This poor photoshop is hideous. Seriously. I want to go wash my eyeballs.
I love you but I've chosen hooning!
> McMike
11/07/2013 at 03:19 |
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It's the Citroen BS y'all!
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Joosep Niit
> McMike
11/07/2013 at 03:51 |
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Lovely little fucker.. But i would take mine in the estate form.
Add the flat six from a classic 911, and you've got yourself a Corvair wagon.
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Joosep Niit
> McMike
11/07/2013 at 04:15 |
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I did a very quick 'shop and added the famous ducktail. Looks cool in my mind :D
A-J-I
> McMike
11/07/2013 at 07:24 |
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More proof that not only do two wrongs not make a right, but two rights apparently don't either.
Take two beautiful cars and turn them into one hideous monstrosity. I'm glad this thing isn't real.
Curious Goldfish
> McMike
11/07/2013 at 07:43 |
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I like the little photoshop tell tails also
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mlevere1988
> McMike
11/07/2013 at 09:15 |
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OK, I know this isn't real but it is the kind of quirky, cool kind of thing that I would like to see if it is done the correct way. Put a whale tail on it tho.
Baskingshark
> 505Turbeaux
11/07/2013 at 11:56 |
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Also, that is a French Dinky model of a DS19, which is much smaller in real life than it appears in this picture.
DocV2
> McMike
11/07/2013 at 13:36 |
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WAIT! …Are you trying to tell me this is a Photoshop?! But… But…. It's on the internets… So it *must* be true! You're just jealous. …Haters gonna hate. *pfft*
tapzz
> MIATAAAA
11/07/2013 at 13:47 |
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Quite.
I'm having trouble determining the level of troll around here.
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itranthelasttimeiparkedit
> MIATAAAA
11/07/2013 at 21:50 |
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I'm still not sure what parts of this whole thing are serious. The first quarter of this post reads like its a spoof of the previous spoof....
(read the part about "Then I read this - and none of it made sense" - the whole thing reads like it is made up)
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Patrick Shea Laking
> SP23
11/07/2013 at 22:11 |
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The liftgate glass on the 928 wagon looks vaguely Honda Odyssey-ish.
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SP23
> Patrick Shea Laking
11/07/2013 at 23:15 |
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Hmm yeah, I kinda see it.
SPNKiX
> McMike
11/08/2013 at 13:27 |
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yeah- i thought this was supposed to be just a rendering. I mean, the DS is bigger than the Porsche in every dimension and, in order to make this work, you would need to shrink the DS rear end by quite a lot... not just cut it, but shrink it. I prolly should have read the original article, I didn't realize they were trying to pass it off as real.
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SPNKiX
> Mikeado
11/08/2013 at 13:30 |
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yeah- I just left basically the same comment. I just figured they were trying to raise the hackles of Porsche and DS purists with a silly mashup.
erikig
> Joosep Niit
11/11/2013 at 12:28 |
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Just for the record that is a whale tail. This is a duck tail:
